( Creative/ Critical )Try to describe a landscape using language that shows that you love every aspect of it, drawing on all your senses. In contrast try now to describe the same landscape using language that shows you hate every inch of what you experience. Think about the texture of the words you use in each situation.
The crisp breeze hits my bare face. But it’s not an uncomfortable cool, it’s more…refreshing. I close my eyes, hoping to indulge my senses to the environment around me. My head lifts as I breathe deeply through my nostrils- drawing in the scent of the salty sea. The sound of waves brushing against the shore creates a predictable, soothing, rhythm that causes my muscles to relax, and my toes to bury deeper into the carpet-like sand. When I let my breath go, my eyes open and adjust to the sunlight. I notice it’s reflection on every ripple, every movement. The longer you stare the more prominent that light becomes, turning slowly into a glimmer, like thousands of fairies dancing on the surface of the sea.
***
Goosebumps cover my entire body- fighting against the cruel, icy air. I clench my eyes shut, trying to block out my surroundings. I breathe in heavily, and am confronted with the unpleasant smell of fish. I can hear the slams of the waves, pounding viciously into the innocent shore. My toes squeeze the sand for comfort, but is met with shattered shells. The light of the sun blinds me when I finally open my eyes, and yet it does not provide warmth in the freezing breeze. Instead, it emphasizes the darkness of the waves. The mysteries that lay underneath. The feeling of the unknown is terrifying, it’s like a black hole under the water.
Lauren And Literature 
The above link will take you to Lauren’s beautiful creative blog post titled ‘A Landscape’, which I will be reviewing.
Overall I loved this blog. It was a beautiful piece that explored contrasts of the landscape effectively. What made the piece come alive most for me was the use of imagery that appealed to all of the senses. The effect was a sensually stimulating experience which captured both views of the landscape crisply and allowed me to generate a clear image in my head. I almost felt as if I was in the landscape. The contrasting adjectives really depict the differences between the loved and hated landscape. For example, the adjectives ‘refreshing’ and ‘soothing’ in the first paragraph, give off beautiful qualities about the landscape as opposed to ‘cruel’ and ‘icy’ which radiate more negative connotations. The use of the alliteration “shattered shells” captured the harshness of the landscape with great clarity. I also liked that both paragraphs ended in the same manner with similes. This allowed vast differences in the landscape to be compared through use of a common language medium. Sentence structure was balanced and effective and no spelling mistakes were located. The image added a nice visual dimension to your blog. Use of present tense really made me feel like I was transcended in the moment and the landscape with you. This blog could have been made more personal if you added names and aspects of a particular beach that may hold significant meaning for you. Awesome job, keep up the good work!
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Hey Lauren!!
The vividness you bring to this piece really enhances your experience of the beach, with your emotive writing making me feel as if I was their standing next to you. Your way with words had me inching on every line, reading on to see what was yet to come. I really love the juxtaposition between the lines “The sound of waves brushing against the shore creates a predictable, soothing, rhythm that causes my muscles to relax…” and “I can hear the slams of the waves, pounding viciously into the innocent shore”, as it demonstrates your ability to grasp two contrasting perspectives on the same landscape (basically, you can answer the question really well!) it also really intrigued me how you could hold such a peaceful feeling of a place, yet pick out the annoyances of your surroundings as well.
Side Note: Including an image of the area would also extremely help the reader grab a better understanding of the description of the place.
Grammar: There was only one minor mistake in this piece, which is that you are missing the word ‘I’ in front of ‘am confronted’ in the second paragraph of your blog post.
Otherwise, I thought that this was a beautifully written blog post and you answered the question in such an emotive, personal way. Would definitely come back to your blog to read more 🙂
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Very effective contrast set up here Lauren… well done.
MG
Editing Needed (and some workshop follow-ups- see Purdue Owl for help: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/section/1/
* I notice it’s reflection on every ripple = I notice ITS reflection on every ripple [ it’s=it is [this is one of those odd exceptions in the English Language where the normal use of ‘s for possessive case or ownership has been upstaged.]
*My toes squeeze the sand for comfort, but is met with shattered shells. = My toes squeeze the sand for comfort, but ARE met with shattered shells. [Is it the “toes” that are the subject of “is”??? Agreement of Subject and Verb. Plural nouns need plural verbs and singular nouns need singular verbs. What should this be? http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/595/01/%5D
*The mysteries that lay underneath. = this is the subject of a sentence but is not a complete sentence eg.= The mysteries that lay underneath were finally revealed to me.
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